Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Tue Jul 16 2013

09:42 PM #
Took the day off again with Bean Tooth to "bring 'er down easy" with 8-10 casual domestos. Tooth says it's heart responsible. Health?

09:45 PM #
If you slam on the breaks, you fly through windshield. Also makes sense with booze and easin' off fuel for a few days responsibly, you guys.

09:47 PM #
I'm a parent, and that means I have a responsibility. And most of the time, that responsibility means lookin' out for #1. (Me, Karl.)

09:50 PM #
If I died, my kids'd probably be bummed, 'cause they never really got to know their hero. They should make more of an effort.

09:54 PM #
Woke up on Bean Tooth's floor. Kind of a giant Sham-Wow for solo pleasures. Not ideal for an A.M. face to face situaish.

09:56 PM #
Sham-Wow never talks 'bout bein' a solo soak up app for guy "spills," but pretty sure it's the #1 use for lonelies, you guys.

09:57 PM #
Me? I do plenty of the nasty with babes. Not to brag or seem like it doesn't happen. It's just a chill factor for bad boy amigos.

10:08 PM #
Not even sure what "Sham-Wow" is, scientifically, but Bean Tooth said it's works for at least a gallon of "sin milk." Kinda concerning?

10:12 PM #
If you make more guy toppings than can get handled by avg. household clean up rags, it's time to consult a professional Dr., you guys.