Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Fri Jul 19 2013

10:07 AM #
Happy Friday to ya, you guys.

10:31 AM #
Whoa. Guess Detroit's all outta bread. Kinda concerning?

11:02 AM #
Don't know how Detroit's broke. They got the Tigs, Wings, AND Lions. Gotta be bank flowin' in. What the crap'd they blow all the dough on?

11:06 AM #
Detroit needs a fundraiser. Have Kid Rock and Bob Seger play for a couple days on 10 story speakers you could hear for miles around? Man.

11:09 AM #
Detroit should have street kids go into other cities to sell candy bars "for their basketball team" before school starts back up.

11:16 AM #
If Detroit has to close up shop for good, everybody drivin' a foreign car should hang their head in shame for a few days, you guys.

11:25 AM #
Babes dig a bad boy with a real American auto. Not some corncob in an import, blarin' their Maroon Fives, wavin' & grinnin' like a doofus.

11:31 AM #
Them Prius's might be better to "save the planet" or some crap, but is the planet really worth Detroit's death? They do SUCH a great coney.

11:36 AM #
Sure, drivin' a Prius is chill if you're ok with datin' babes who wear loose slacks and only do tight lipped peck smoochin'.

11:40 AM #
Guess I'd get me a Prius if I planned on keepin' it solo and lonely in the babe department for the rest of my life. Not my style though.

11:45 AM #
As far as I'm concerned, "IMPORT" is just another word for "TRAITOR." Think that might be in a Springsteen song, you guys.

11:48 AM #
Next time you consider an automobile, ask yourself, "Could I see Bob Seger havin' a song in the commercial?" There's your answer.

11:55 AM #
Detroit should hire Stone Cold as muscle for Bob Seger, then just walk around Detroit sayin, "Clean up your crap, 'cause Bob Seger said so."

11:58 AM #
Maybe Detroit could just tear down all them old buildings and put in a bunch of golf courses? The revenue'd be off the chain.

12:03 PM #
Love to help out Detroit, but I'm low on cash 'til Harper Columns comes hot 'n ready with my free Camaro and that cool million.

12:06 PM #
It's tough to help out others, when you're still waitin' on receivin' your own free crap to help yourself first, you guys.