Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Tue Jul 23 2013

09:16 PM #
Finally split from Bean Tooth's. Couldn't stand snoozin' on his carpet anymore. The thick and nasty scents still haunt my breather.

09:21 PM #
Been crashin' in my ride again. Anywhere used to feel like home. But lately, I've been cravin' a somewhere.

09:26 PM #
Might not never get a Camaro. Don't see no book bread comin' neither. Feel kinda chewed up, yet handsome and rugged, like Lorenzo Lamas.

09:30 PM #
Thought livin in my car woulda freed me up to pull power moves, but I been around the way for a minute and ain't got no good on the horizon.

09:34 PM #
Had a week dry spell from the pool gig. Kinda went bonkers with my cash on eats and cold ones. Thought I'd be loaded with green by now.

09:37 PM #
If you go to work an the regular in the USA, you should be able to put down good time great tastes like Chili's booze and eats at will.

09:40 PM #
This is America. And just 'cause you don't got any money, it don't mean you gotta live like some sorta poor person, you guys.

09:47 PM #
Chili's and 'Bee's should give back to the community with exclusive credit cards to float valued customers in a time of need.

09:49 PM #
"With the Chili's Floater Card, you can still get down with bold flavors and refreshing booze 'til a job makes you loaded once more." Man.

09:51 PM #
"At Chili's, we understand that just 'cause you don't got a job, it don't mean you're trash. So just get us back later, you guys."

09:54 PM #
I mean, lotsa folks probably blew piles of dough on places like 'Bee's, Chili's, Wendo's, Arb's, The Bell, Mickey D's, BK, and other...

09:56 PM #
...hot spots when they were lined with cash. Seems like it'd be a chill move to float good USA folks a few hamburgs and crap 'til pay day.

10:02 PM #
If everybody with all the money gave a little money to folks with no money, America'd be stronger hand in hand, you guys.

10:12 PM #
Gonna sip the rest of this Early Times and hope it shuts my eyes 'til somethin' warmer wakes 'em up.