Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Tue Jul 30 2013

10:37 AM #
Kinda bummed. Think I coulda blew it with Joseph yesterday, guy to guy. Might never be twin tower bad boy babe crushers.

10:39 AM #
Bean Tooth was makin' smart mouth cracks in the truck backseat usin' bad language, talkin' 'bout backdoor oral passions. Real crass.

10:45 AM #
Joseph told Bean Tooth: "Hey skinny, stop makin' up your stupid bullsh*t 'til I'm at least done with my Little Debbies." Heat was on.

10:50 AM #
Bean Tooth squawked up to Joseph, "Why don't you f*ck your own ass, motherf*cker?" Not sure where he was goin' with that.

10:52 AM #
Joseph said, "Looks like it's time for Tooth to suck his own d*ck." Reached in the back seat & started crammin' his noggin' to his guy zone.

10:56 AM #
Bean Tooth started goin' bonkers like somebody who's gettin' their own head pushed to their own crotch area with violence 'Cause he was.

10:58 AM #
Never seen that before: One man shovin' another man's face to his crotch for attempted solo oral passions. Never wanna to see that again.

11:00 AM #
Guess Bean Tooth had some air constrictions 'cause after we got back to the new job site he collapsed in the pool hole. Terrible.

11:03 AM #
The homeowner came out flippin' her britches 'bout, "Is that guy ok?!" Had on a silk robe. Silk robes are so exotic. Flexed a 'cep.

11:09 AM #
Told the Homeowner, "Tooth passed out. Joseph made him try to perform oral pleasures on his own peener." Think she was distracted by my bod.

11:12 AM #
Tooth was chill after some light vomiting, so I made a casual move to Silk Robe City, "S'up. Name's Karl. I'm your workin' man."

11:18 AM #
Nothin' like an unplanned convo with a babe in a silk robe. Every "mm-hmm" and "oh yeah" is tastefully displayed with class, you guys.

11:21 AM #
Didn't get Silk Robe's name. Pretty sure she told me it, but I was too busy peepin' her beauties from behind my Maui Jim's, respectfully.

11:25 AM #
Just somethin' 'bout some surprise babe's all natural chest beefers in broad daylight that makes a real man ache with cravin'. Man.

11:34 AM #
Guess Joseph had plans to make a move on Silk Robe. Think he's steamed 'cause I cruised her. Understandable. Them beefers were real healthy.

11:38 AM #
Nothin' hotter than a babe in a silk robe. 'Cept MAYBE a red teddy. That's a natural fact. Why there's like 10 in every Whitesnake video.

11:41 AM #
Bean Tooth even got a peep in after he post passout barfed. Keeps talkin' 'bout those "juicy shirt pigs." No class.

11:42 AM #
Joseph's just gonna have to learn that when it comes to smooth operation, Dr. Karl is ALWAYS on call.

11:45 AM #
Nothin' comes between 2 fellas like a babe's full beef rack when their carnal hunger is at a redline situaish, you guys.