Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Thu Aug 29 2013

02:38 PM #
Really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys.

03:37 PM #
Really laid some pipe at work today. (PVC) Ha! Just some guy humor there. Been sayin' it to people all day. Really gettin' looks!

03:39 PM #
Bean Tooth hooked it up with a job fixin' a broke PVC line under a deck. Had to jackhammer through the concrete to get to the pipe...

03:43 PM #
"Had to jackhammer to lay some pipe today." Said that to a cocoa babe at Wendy's. Didn't get it. Might be a cultural difference?

03:50 PM #
Cocoa babe at Wendy's said, "F*ck you say 'bout layin' pipe, motherf*cker?" Thought it best to chill and turn 'round to finish my Baconator.

03:59 PM #
Cocoa Babe went bonkers and started screamin' at her pal, "Lerticia," (?) who was still in line, "Lerticia, muhf*ckin' predator over her!"

04:02 PM #
Told Cocoa Babe "I'm not a predator. I'm Karl, and I really did lay some pipe." She started wavin' fingers, spinnin' round, makin' sounds.

04:06 PM #
After Cocoa Babe grabbed my half Baconator off the table and stuffed it in her purse for "PNA evidence," I felt uncomfy and hit the bricks.

04:07 PM #
Cocoa babes be wildin' out at Wendy's, you guys.

04:11 PM #
Today, Bean Tooth said Joseph is real steamed still and, "Wants to crush my skull in." Guess he's on a tether. Kinda concerning?

04:16 PM #
Hope to not get murdered tomorrow. Guess that's everyday? But, with the long weekend comin' up, it'd be just a nightmare. Hate to miss out.

10:39 PM #
Man. So bombed. But with the hot licks of Cinderella's "Night Songs" tape I got at Goodwill, how could I not be? "Shake me! ALLLL NIGHT!"

10:41 PM #
"NIGHT SONGS," you guys.

10:45 PM #
CHOICES: You can sleep wide awake with a bottle in your hand and thick guitars in your ears. Or you can risk never wakin' up to rock again.

10:47 PM #
Might gonna barf. But then again, forever might gonna not, you guys.