Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Fri Aug 30 2013

12:30 AM #
Bombed Wonder fi Rubetues is open. Crap do't live in Fenton. Crap!!! So slteamed.

12:31 AM #
Just gonna walkl over to the job. Play it slafe. Be there in th emornin ready to knonc out the work so hrad

12:32 AM #
Can jost crash on the yard grass.. ;Yard Grass". Its like the bed for thee ayrard. HAH!

12:33 AM #
Call me tje workin maan! I guessthats what i am! you gusy.

12:35 AM #
BLLLAAAAAAAAAH

10:49 AM #
Really lookin' forward to the three day weekend. Happy Labor Day Friday to ya, you guys.

10:51 AM #
Really hurtin. Feel like I drank a thousand beers last night. And/or a bottle of hard booze. And/or slept on the concrete. Kinda concerning?

11:56 AM #
Feel like I slept in the parkin' lot of an AutoZone last night, 'cause I did. Why? Gonna chalk it up to "mysteries of the universe."

11:59 AM #
Looks like I wrote "NiGHt SONgS" on my guy abs in Sharpie last night, 'cause who else woulda done it? Be kinda weird.

12:01 PM #
Took me an hour to walk home this mornin'. Then got to work and slept on a cool dirt pile. Bean Tooth kept callin' me, "Mr. Natural."

12:02 PM #
Sleepin' on a cool dirt pile in the shade when your brain is bangin' is actually even better than it sounds, you guys. SO chill.

12:05 PM #
Slept in a watermelon crate in the produce fridge of the grocery store I worked at in high school once. Gotta be in Top 5 naps of all time.

12:08 PM #
Always good to pregame for a 3 day weekend with a 0-20% Friday effort so you don't pull a party muscle when it's time to get loose.

12:11 PM #
Labor Day ain't all about how hard you worked, it's about how hard you're gonna rock it on the day off. That's all anyone remembers.

12:15 PM #
People who think they're happy cause they got a fancy job gotta remember: Rich or poor, cold beer tastes the same so who cares, you guys.