Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sun Dec 15 2013

05:21 PM #
Got a tree. Think I cut it down from Ann's yard judgin' by the phone calls I'm not pickin' up and how I drove by and saw it missin'.

05:25 PM #
Ann sounds pretty steamed on her VMs. Guess that tree was some crap my son planted for some kindergarten "project." Like I remember. Jeez.

05:28 PM #
Can't be expected to remember all the "memories" my kids made. I'm not some past liver. My time is now.

05:35 PM #
Besides, my son needs to learn important lessons like, "Sometimes you make some crap and it gets stolen or destroyed. Can't have 'nothin."

05:38 PM #
I'm might not see my kids much, but I'm still the #1 Dad who's never around.

05:42 PM #
The only parents who worry if their kids "love" them are the ones who don't have their own thang goin' on 'til the break of dawn.

05:45 PM #
Also, you can't "steal" from your kids. What's theirs is yours, and if you want somethin', you can just take it, bad boy style.

05:54 PM #
Natural Fact: Ain't any way there's no other dad in the USA that can touch me in the boss player department, you guys.