Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Dec 21 2013

05:53 PM #
Worried 'bout Dave. Been goin' bonkers on the sauce. Don't think he's slept in 3 days. Keeps wakin' me up with challenges, like Connect 4.

05:55 PM #
Who wakes somebody up to play Connect Four? Like he's Mr. Big & Bad Connect Four Man. No one ever got any babes from Connect Four. Idiot.

05:58 PM #
This mornin', Dave woke me up at 5:30am to tell me, "I'm organinizin' a bench press competition for everyone we know. Be there." Be where?!

06:04 PM #
Sometimes, people turn extra craptarded 'round the holidays. Lotsa dark feelins of Xmas past can come back up on ya like a bad burreet.

06:08 PM #
If Dave wakes me up with more bullcrap stupid talk tonight, I'm gonna set him on fire or somethin'. Can't live this way. It's unreasonable.

06:18 PM #
Kinda rethinkin' settin' Dave on fire. Could just take a hot whizz on him? Might get my point across with less authorities involved.

06:22 PM #
Takin' a hot nasty whizz on somebody 'round the holidays says, "You deserve to be soaked in whizz, corncob." Gotta communicate, you guys.