Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sun Dec 22 2013

03:39 PM #
Was gonna take a whizz of vengeance on Dave last night for him bein' such a load. Waited 'til he passed out, then, got out my peener.

03:41 PM #
Was tryin' to relax my bladd so the whizz would come. Was pretty bombed. Then had a moment of, "Am I a person who urinates on people?"

03:43 PM #
"Am I really gonna drain my guy peener on another grown man? Soak him in my hot whizz while he sleeps?" Just don't seem like my style.

03:45 PM #
Decided even though Dave's bein' a piece of trash, I shouldn't urinate on his body, at least 'round the holidays. Gotta be the better man.

03:50 PM #
Went to stuff my guy peener back in my jean shorts, tripped and fell. Got my bare private area all over Dave's neck. Not ideal.

03:54 PM #
Dave didn't wake up, but I know it was there. My peener, by his face, pressed 'gainst his neck. Can't get it outta my thinker. So nasty.

03:57 PM #
When you get bombed and whip it out, there's a chance of your peener goin' somewhere unfortunate, no matter what your intention, you guys.

07:45 PM #
Pretty sick and tired of the Lions makin' Lions fans look like a buncha stupid piles of stupid trash for bein' Lions fans, you guys.

07:50 PM #
Wonder if you can be a Lions fan, but want 'em to lose? Might be cool. "Hell yeah, we lost! Let's pound cold ones and NOT punch a wall!"

08:11 PM #
Gonna go for a chill stroll with some mobile Jim Beam. Smoke some cigs. Really mourn the Lions' toilet of a season in the darkness.