Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Wed Jan 01 2014

02:42 PM #
Happy New Year, Quadteen, you guys.

02:42 PM #
Feel like I drank a thousand beers last night.

02:43 PM #
Sometimes you wake up with the question, "Mistakes were made?"

02:47 PM #
Don't know where the Coke White 'Maro is. It's a rental so not my problem. But still, kinda concerning.

02:49 PM #
If you make a mistake when you're blacked out, is it really a mistake? Kinda like that tree crashin' in the woods crap.

02:52 PM #
Selective blackout memory is a survival tactic that allows you to wake up and not remember stuff that makes you wanna kill yourself.

02:54 PM #
Might be still kinda bombed. When you wake and think you still might be kinda bombed, you're probably still kinda bombed.

02:58 PM #
Gonna crack a few domestos and get internal. Really settle into my soul, and let the new year carry me into the depths of future success.

03:00 PM #
Ain't no pain that the Winter Classic, the Rosebowl, and a dozen ice cold domestos can't take away. It's new year's medicine for bad boys.

03:01 PM #
Go Wings, Go State, and Go USA, you guys.

03:02 PM #
2014. Let's roll.

06:32 PM #
Goddamnit! Can't have the Wings and Sparty lose in the same day. Already suffered the Tigs' and the Lions' crapstorms. Can't take no more.

06:33 PM #
So steamed. Need 2014 to not suck it. Can't take anymore suckin' it. Sick of this.

06:38 PM #
I'm a healthy chest beefer craver with a side of loaded man 'tatoes. The President and CEO of Bad Boy City, USA. And I demand success. Jeez.

06:40 PM #
I can make things happen with my braino if I just keep destroyin' these cold ones. I can not suck it. I will not suck it. NOT suck it.

06:41 PM #
When you really think about it, other people can suck it. But not you. Just remember, "Don't suck it." Think I might be bombed? Man.

08:31 PM #
Go Green. Go White. And Sparty On, you guys.

08:34 PM #
Mitten in the air. Back to the world. Feel like I could drink a thousand beers right now.

08:56 PM #
When you win The Granddaddy of 'Em All, you gotta test the lengths your bod can go in a maniac celebraish with the heat of a thousand suns.