Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Thu Jan 23 2014

02:37 PM #
Really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys.

03:26 PM #
Really hurtin'. Mighta drank a whole bott of Fireball last night for Guy Fieri's b-day. Coulda spilled some though? Kinda concerning.

03:30 PM #
How come every product has a "serving size" on it, but not booze? Saying nothin' is the same as sayin', "Knock the whole thing, kemosabe."

03:34 PM #
Wish Guy Fieri knew how I drank a whole bott of Fireball for his b-day. He'd make me the Secretary of Defense in Flavortown.

03:39 PM #
Been thinkin' 'bout Ann lately. Wonder what's been shakin'? Might have to scrub up my pits and guy veggies for a stop by.

03:41 PM #
Everyone gets the lonelies round this time of year. It's part of the natural cycle of carnal passions. Bet Ann's been thinkin' 'bout me too.

03:45 PM #
'Round the end of January is time to get a babe, old or fresh baked, hangin' on your line, so on V-day you can get consensually erotic.

03:49 PM #
3 weeks before V-Day is a good time to hook a babe so it don't look obvious you're just avoidin' holdin' your own peener on Feb. 14th.

03:53 PM #
90% of "romance" is really just trickin' a babe into thinkin' she craves your touch, you guys.