Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Thu Feb 13 2014

05:19 PM #
Really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys.

06:16 PM #
Been layin' low. Dave had a "mild" heart attack the mornin' of the Super Bowl. Kinda rocked my world. Hurts to miss the big game.

06:19 PM #
I had a "mild" heart attack before. Pretty much the same as a nasty gas attack after a Papa John's "John's Favorite" 'za. Nothin' serious.

06:23 PM #
A "mild" heart attack is more just a good 'scuse for some well deserved sympathy you didn't receive when it was due. Ain't a real illness.

06:27 PM #
So inconsiderate of Dave to get sick on Super Bowl Sunday. A whole crock of my Captain Carlos' Queso Ole dip went to waste. Still bugs me.

06:34 PM #
When I had my "mild" 'ttack, it was 'cause of family stress. Not my bod. Which is on point. Dave's just a zero health zone garbage dump.

06:35 PM #
Don't know if things'll ever be the same 'tween me & Dave. Once a pal's weakness takes away from your good times, they're a liability.

06:38 PM #
Told Dave, on Monday, We're gonna get him on a program. Always wanted to be a personal trainer. I'm pretty much an "after." 100% all beef.

06:50 PM #
Bet personal trainer's clean up on babes. All the sweatin', pointin', and tonin', probably gets the urges out of control. Man.

06:53 PM #
If you're one on one in the gym with a babe, bods glistenin' with perspiraish, it's only natch that consensual carnality ensues, you guys.