Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Fri Feb 14 2014

04:10 PM #
Happy 'Tines Day to all the thick and natural, consensual USA babes, from coast to coast, you guys.

04:13 PM #
When 'Tine's Day hits on a Friday, it's time to double up on the 'logne, and look out for lonelies cravin' eroticisms, one on one.

04:16 PM #
Alotta babes say they're chill spendin' 'Tine's Day alone. But that's only 'til they get hot 'n ready from peepin' my all beef guy pipes.

04:26 PM #
Never understood the point of celebratin' 'Tine's Day if you're already in a snoozefest relaish? It's a single & ready to mingle opportune.

04:30 PM #
Buyin' a hot meal for the babe you're in a relaish with is just gonna end up with her sacked on the couch. Not carnal passions. Big waste.

04:33 PM #
If I'm gonna slap down some bread on a babe, it's for booze, not grub. Eats don't get you a big grab on her toppings. Sauce does. Top shelf.

04:37 PM #
I'll shell out dough to fill up a babe's grill after we get consensual. But pre-game, let's keep our bods lean and mean with liquid supper.

04:40 PM #
I mean, sure, I'm down pig out with a babe. It's 2014. But there's times for that. Like during a football game, or at a funeral.

04:44 PM #
I used to eat heavy with Ann. Sometimes, man, we had a blast, like at Olive Garden. But then we wouldn't go all the way. Why we're divorced.

04:48 PM #
Me? I can take down a big thick steak and a loaded baked, and still be ready from adult romance after gruntin' out a premie. Guy code.

04:52 PM #
The trick to a successful pre-carnal stinky, is to use the john at the restaurant. Blame the time lag on a line up for the whizzer. (wink)

04:53 PM #
You can't blow up a babe's john after a hearty meal at 'Bee's and still expect her to take care of business downtown. Gotta be respectful.

04:57 PM #
This 'Tine's Day, go heavy on the margs, skip dessert, and save that big appetite for all you can eat chest beefers, you guys.