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DadBoner - Tue Feb 25 2014

07:24 PM #
Been chillin' on the down low for a few days. Things got pretty heated when me & Dave tried to return the diseased Hot Pockets to Kroger.

07:29 PM #
Kroger manager said only Philly beef Hot Pockets had diseases, so they couldn't take back kinds like ham & chee or balls & 'rella.

07:31 PM #
Told the Kroger manager, "Listen buddy (finger pointed. hard.), I ain't eatin' NO kinda Hot Pockets. Diseases can spread to ANY Hot Pock."

07:34 PM #
Said, "If I catch a case of the backdoor explosions, I'll be comin' back here to erupt on your car and/or store floor, corncob."

07:36 PM #
Kroger manager said, "Did you just threaten to go to the bathroom on my car?" Told him right in his face, "Big time." Such a power move.

07:39 PM #
Said, "If I don't get my Hot Pockets exchanged for a bott of Beam, I'm gonna blow a hot nasty brown one on your whole world, kemosabe."

07:43 PM #
Dave said we should just split and the manager wasn't even worth it when the security guard came over due to my maniac bad boy style.

07:47 PM #
Told the security guard to be easy or I'd have Dave rip a thick hot whizz on his car for bein' associated. That's when Dave hit the door.

07:51 PM #
If a pal threatens to grunt a BM on an adversaries property, the least you can do is back him up by takin' a whizz on somethin', you guys.

07:56 PM #
Told the manager and the security guard that they just got on my crap list, and it ain't healthy to have the Captain hot 'n ready for ya.

07:58 PM #
Want a refund, AND a bott of Beam from Hot Pockets. Both. Real steamed and rowdy 'bout this garbage. Might take it to head honchos at HP.

07:59 PM #
I'm the President and CEO of Bad Boy City, USA. And you don't want none of this no fear comin' at you with the heat of a thousand suns.