Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Wed Mar 05 2014

07:15 AM #
Was tryin' to catch some z's. Then Crazy Cooter bust in the door with, "I gotta bone this cooze in the f*ckin' mouth gutter in your john."

07:19 AM #
Told Cooter, "I'm not a pimp-o-potty. You can't use my crap hole as a base of operations for oral carnal passions."

07:24 AM #
Coot said, "F*ck yourself motherf*cker! This slab needs a bacon mascot in her pig's sh*t hole!" Musta drank too much. Makes NO sense. Idiot.

07:27 AM #
Gonna sleep in the kitchen. Coot needs my room to "burst the gush." Guy code is always guy code, no matter what the time, you guys.

03:35 PM #
Woke up on the kitchen floor crammed into Dave's old Pac-Man sleepin' bag. Couldn't get the zipper open. Had to whizz on myself. So steamed.

03:39 PM #
Don't know why Cooter has to bring his garbage pail babes over here for nasty carnal passions. Upchuck babes should be a secret situaish.

03:42 PM #
I've shaken privates with a babe or two that are more suited to darkness, but I ain't puttin' it on the front page. You gotta edit.

03:44 PM #
When it comes to carnal investigations, you gotta know which babes you put on the front page, and which ones are more "classified." (wink)

03:48 PM #
Some babes are Tesla's "Love Song," meant to be cranked up, and sometimes, they're a b-side off Ratt's third album, never to be heard.

03:54 PM #
If a babe don't make you feel like 3:57 in Still of The Night by Whitesnake, you eject the tape and see what else is on the radio, you guys.