Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sun Apr 20 2014

03:26 PM #
Happy 'Ster to ya, you guys.

04:42 PM #
'Ster is the day when the Big Man Upstairs came back from the dead to let everyone know then can suck it, you guys.

04:45 PM #
Been layin' low since I had Dave tape me givin' myself a hot & soapy man shave down. Results were questionable?

04:47 PM #
Decided to do my man shave in a towel and topless with a spritz of wetness to get my look natural and on point like in a Gillette commersh.

04:50 PM #
Wettin' your guy pipes with dampness or erotic oils really brings out all of the curves to ease any babe's nerves, consensually, you guys.

04:51 PM #
As a I smooth stroked the blade across my mug, Dave kept sayin' crap like, "Yeah. Mmm-hmm. Now smooch at the camera." Idiot.

04:55 PM #
True bad boys don't need direction when it comes to natural eroticisms. Think Tom Berenger needs tips on how to make a babe feel the crave?

05:01 PM #
After I got done shavin' my mug down to babyface, Dave said, "Whoa. That's a lotta face, Karl. A LOTTA face." There was a point to be had.

05:04 PM #
Thought maybe my face looked beef monster was 'cause my man pecs were still primal. Decided to blade down those beasts too.

05:06 PM #
After you shave off a beard situaish, it's probs best to avoid mirrors for awhile 'til you're ready to face yourself, one on one.

05:09 PM #
Might have to go get one a them spray tans tomorrow. Gotta go from zero to cocoa tan, pronto. I take pride in my appearance.

05:13 PM #
When I get my spray tan, I'll be better than ever. Might have 'em shade down my abs so you can see what's really going on. Man.