Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Tue May 20 2014

02:46 PM #
Really hurtin'. Been crashin' at Crazy Cooter's since Mom's Day. Had a several day rendezvous with some single parent lonelies. Guy code.

02:51 PM #
Cooter used his last freedom check to buy a bulk sized portion of 'juana gummi bears. Mighta over indulged for however days have passed.

02:55 PM #
Extended snackin' on 'juana gummi bears for sustenance as well as brain enhancement renders the world a blur of pleasure, you guys.

02:59 PM #
Guess the single lonely I was makin' time with has a kid in the same school as my son. Kinda concerning. Glad we didn't go all the way.

03:01 PM #
Sometimes it makes sense that I don't ever see my son. It'd be weird if I was givin' my adult beef to a classmate's lonely mom.

03:05 PM #
Crazy Cooter kept sayin', "Welzein, you gotta split that axe wound. Lick it and stick it, motherf*cker." Jeez. What happened to romance?

03:08 PM #
Sure, "lick it and stick it" implies a certain something, but it sounds too much like an infomercial slogan to 'cause arousals for my taste.

03:17 PM #
New single lonely mom's name is Bethany. But I call her "Thanny." Sounds more righteous, like Bob Seger could write a song 'bout her.

03:20 PM #
Gonna give Ann a ring. See if she knows Thanny or her kid. Gotta clear the bases before I pursue her body carnally with guy passions.

03:26 PM #
You gotta sniff around the bushes before doin' any erotically intimate yard work, you guys.