Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Tue Jul 22 2014

02:32 AM #
Dave said some corncobs got like a million big ones for makin' 'tato salad on some crap called kickstarts. Costs 5 bucks! So stupid.

02:35 AM #
Might reach out to kickstarts 'bout gettin' a 'Maro. If they're givin' out $$$ for 'tato salad, wait'll they hear 'bout my 'Maro. Man.

02:38 AM #
Dave said kickstarts is "crowd funders." Should just call it "computer begging." 'Course, my 'Maro would be for babes all over the world?

02:43 AM #
Askin' for a charity donaish is just begging. But me askin' for a Camaro is for the USA. Way different, you guys.

02:00 PM #
Worked real hard on my 'Maro plans for the Kickstarts beggin' program. Figured if they give $$$ for 'tato salad, a 'Maro is such a home run.

02:01 PM #
Plus, told Kickstarts that my 'Maro would be CUSTOM with a Van Halen sticker. So special.

02:03 PM #
Kickstarts said my 'Maro with Van Halen sticker didn't fit their "rules." Are they anti anything badass?! So steamed.

02:12 PM #
Kickstarters can basically suck it. Hard. Twice on Sundays, you guys. http://t.co/evqMCIMQvp

02:19 PM #
Kickstarters gives $$$ for 'tato salad and snoozefest movies and banjo band albums but I can't ask for a CAMARO? Buncha corncob assclowns.

02:23 PM #
My 'Maro was to SHARE with USA babes from coast to coast, and fellas to enjoy, guy to guy. It was for everyone. Feelin' kinda down.

02:25 PM #
Kickstarters hates Camaros. Kickstarters hates America. Kickstarters just loves crap nobody wants. Never forget, you guys.

03:10 PM #
Tried another crowdfunds site to benefit the USA. Looks much more chill than those Kickstarts corncobs who are anti-VAN HALEN.

03:13 PM #
CAMARO with VAN HALEN STICKER is a go. Gotta chase my dreams. This rocks SO hard. Let's roll, you guys. https://t.co/loIKy9hQOu

03:43 PM #
Don't just live the American dream. BE the American dream, you guys. https://t.co/loIKy9hQOu