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DadBoner - Fri Aug 08 2014

08:26 PM #
Went to 'Bee's today for some Saturday lunch margs. Hardly anyone was rockin' it. Thought there was a national incident or some crap.

08:29 PM #
Turns out today isn't Saturday. It's Friday. Sometimes a brain mistake can be made with perfection, you guys.

08:30 PM #
Sometimes, your brain forgets what day it is on purpose so you can have two Saturdays for rockin' the weekend twice as hard.

08:33 PM #
Gotta say, I try not to live by what day it is. I'm not some day slave, you guys.

08:36 PM #
Came home after 'Bee's and caught Dave doin' some weird crap to his bod; drinkin' a Michelob Ultra. Tried to hide it, but sadly, I saw.

08:40 PM #
Told Dave, "we don't drink Michelob Ultra in this household. It's trash water for junior high girls and Euro underwear model weirdos."

08:43 PM #
Dave said he was "just tryin" Michelob Ultra. That's like "just tryin" on some daisy printed Lane Bryant panties. You're never the same.

08:52 PM #
Dave said Michelob Ultra is "Superior" Light Beer. "Superior" to what? A hot morning whizz?

09:05 PM #
Told Dave, if you think Michelob Ultrash is gonna get your bod on point, your brain gots a real problem with how fitness works.

09:09 PM #
Told Dave, your whole bod could be a giant 6 pack, but if you're holdin' a 6 pack of Mich Ultrash, you'll also be holdin' your own peener.

09:13 PM #
Michelob Ultrash should do an ad that says, "Michelob Ultra lets the babes know, you're happy to hold your own peener, ALL. NIGHT. LONG."

09:14 PM #
"Michelob Ultra, the superior light beer for guys who'd rather look like a big load than drink like a real man."

09:16 PM #
"Michelob Ultra. Share one with your little sister, then get to bed early for a good night's sleep, corncob. Nobody likes you."

09:23 PM #
"Michelob Ultra. When you're done drinkin' it, just break the bottle and cut off that peener you won't be needin' anymore, you guys."