Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sun Aug 10 2014

06:29 PM #
Did some recon and found a half full Michelob Ultrash 12er under Dave's bed with a Men's Health on top of it. Jeez.

06:32 PM #
You'd look more badass drinkin' a Diet Sprite than a Michelob Ultra, you guys.

06:35 PM #
Nothin' lets everyone know, "I pee sittin' down" like a Michelob Ultra in your hand.

06:44 PM #
Told Dave, bet I could drink a case of Michelob Ultrash and still be chill. He said "no way." Told him "yes way." Really got in his face.

06:51 PM #
Goin' to the party store. Gonna shut down Dave. 24 Michelob Ultrash is NO problem for a true bad boy.

09:10 PM #
Already plowed through 6 Michelob Ultrash. Think it's just yellow colored club soda. What a scam.

09:14 PM #
Gotta pick up the pace. If you're not drinkin' cold ones to get drunk, you might as well just put one on your neck from suckin' it so hard.

09:23 PM #
Crankin' up some Sam Halen. Nothin' gives you ingestible power moves like Poundcake. Hell-oh bay-beh! https://t.co/zuhaXcIhgi

09:33 PM #
"Michelob Ultra. When Sammy Hagar is chillin' in a Mexico pool with about a thousand babes, he's not drinkin' this crap."

09:34 PM #
Michelob Ultra. For the times when your gal's undies feel "just right."

09:37 PM #
Michelob Ultra is the beer those guys in the Shawshank prison movie woulda just poured out and asked for filth water.

09:38 PM #
Bet when Kate Upton sees a guy drinkin' a Michelob Ultrash, her chest beefers get smaller, you guys.

09:59 PM #
Should you drink Michelob Ultra? Well, would Stone Cold Steve Austin smash 2 together and pound 'em? Hell no. There's your answer.