Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sun Oct 05 2014

01:39 PM #
Lions & BIG Tigers game today. Maybes one of the most 'portant days of my life? Should be when my kids were born but we're not really close.

04:28 PM #
Jim Schwartz can pretty much suck it. Seemed like he was enjoyin' himself a little too much on the sidelines at the Lions expense. Corncob.

04:32 PM #
Really like to get my mitts on Jim Schwartz behind the scenes. Could stand to learn a little respect from a real man, Bad Boy City style.

04:42 PM #
Might barf if the Tigers lose too. Just keep barfin' forever 'til I'm dead, you guys.

08:49 PM #
Ever had a day where you can imagine the rope around your neck, and it feels like a warm hug, instead of desperaish, you guys?

08:52 PM #
I'd never kill myself. But it's chill and natural to daydream about it after a thousand beers and a dream shatttered into enternity.

09:11 PM #
Sure, you could suck a tailpipe, eat a a bullet, or choke on an extension cord, but 5 minutes at Chili's make everything so chill.

09:13 PM #
Anybody who killed themself never just came from havin'a cold draft and chips & salsa from Chili's, you guys.

09:17 PM #
Do I want to kill myself! Sure. Anyone with half a brain wants to at least once a day. That's why Chili's exists.

09:21 PM #
I'm no slave to innovation, but when it comes to crave satisfaction and bold flavors. Chili's makes it hurt with pleasure.

09:24 PM #
Ever grunt out a Chili's crap? It's clean and stiff. No explosion. That's how you know it's quality chow.

09:28 PM #
If you wake up and squat on the john in the AM with a prayer for short sweet, death. You're livin'. Can't feel pain when you're dead.

09:33 PM #
Goin' on the roof with Dave. Bringin' the boombox. Gonna listen to Rocket Queen, and scream, for salvation. The rainbow of life...