Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Thu Oct 23 2014

03:04 PM #
Really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys.

03:12 PM #
Whoa, just realized it's my b'day! "Happ' birr-rrrr' to Karl... Happ' birrr-rrr' to Karl!"

03:13 PM #
Wonder where Dave is? Could be gettin' an ice cream cake? But also could be takin' a big crap. Gonna check the john.

03:16 PM #
Dave's not here. Must be gettin' me a surprise 'cream cake. Gonna leave a note to bring it to 'Bee's.

03:18 PM #
Found a stack of old cone b-day hats under the sink. Gonna clean off the filth & wear one down to 'Bee's and let the booze flow MY way. Ha!

03:20 PM #
If you're wearin' a b-day hat at 'Bee's, when the bill comes, just point at it, blow out a candle, and walk out the door with mad swag.

03:22 PM #
The best b-day celebraish is one you start forgettin' as soon as possible after it starts, you guys.