Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Fri Nov 21 2014

06:08 PM #
Happy Friday to ya, you guys.

06:11 PM #
Slept through yesterday. Bod musta needed a seasonal recharge. It's natural to lose a day sometimes. Means you're healthy and on point.

06:15 PM #
Sometimes Dave sleeps through 2 or 3 days. I call 'em "death naps." Stops breathin' for minutes at a time. Doesn't look very chill.

06:20 PM #
When Dave stops breathin' in his sleep, I know, 'cause he stops soundin' like a hog eatin' a bucket of wet Pop Tarts.

06:25 PM #
Heard Bill Cos is in big troubs for illegal carnal passions. Didn't think to buy a babe a hot meal and put on some 'logne? Idiot.

06:29 PM #
Don't know why anybody'd wanna go all the way with a babe that don't wanna go all the way back? Gotta be a wanted cowboy or, no way.

06:31 PM #
If a babe don't wanna get consensual, just go home and stick your peener in the couch cushions. Not my style, but no need to commit a crime.

06:37 PM #
Can understand why Bill Cos had probs with babes. Always makin' weirdo beep bop talk and dancin' like a handicapped. Not very smooth.

06:44 PM #
If want action with a babe and booze ain't settin' the tone, then you bought the wrong babe booze and need to accept your mistake.

06:46 PM #
Can't go through life dumpin' dope in babes' booze just 'cause you got some sick need and an ache in your Hanes, then expect it to be chill.

06:53 PM #
True bad boys know if a babe wants their bod when babes look 'em in the eye, caress a flexed 'cep, and tell 'em they do, you guys.

06:55 PM #
My peener stays in the basement 'til I hear, "K-Money, let's get adult with your macho beef, consensually." That's a personal policy.