Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sun Jan 04 2015

12:34 PM #
Real bummed about Stuart Scott. A true USA bad boy. Maybe one of the smoothest soul brothers of all time? Man. RIP, Boo-Yah, you guys.

03:23 PM #
Decided to lay low solo for the holidays. Plus, Ann ignored my text for a "One time only erotic XXXmas rendezvous. *Adults only."

03:28 PM #
If your ex don't wanna make an occasional adult-style handshake on a holiday, it's cause her feelins probs still run too hot for your beef.

03:34 PM #
If you don't wanna participate in the holidays, just shut the door, open a bottle, and let your mind go on an adventure to anywhere else.

03:40 PM #
Feel like 2015 could be my year. Blew off the first 4 days, but the actual year doesn't really get started until after the Super Bowl.

03:49 PM #
Nothin' says, "I think I'm better than you" like somebody tryin' to accomplish life crap before the Super Bowl, you guys.

08:02 PM #
So steamed. Really like to get my mitts on that limp bag Jerry Jones and the Christie Christie fatso behind the scenes.

08:04 PM #
Such a load. Guess bein' "America's team" means you got a big bank account, you guys.

08:16 PM #
Sick of this. Dallas ain't "America's team." Dallas is "Dallas's team." No one else gives a hot crap on a cold day.

08:20 PM #
So steamed. SO steamed. Goin' to sit on the frozen roof with some Jim Beam and scream at the sky. Can't have nothin'.