Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Mon Jan 05 2015

05:01 PM #
Really hurtin'. Fell off the roof last night. Sprained my wrist. Fractured some ribs. Not a very chill situaish, you guys.

05:04 PM #
Probably shouldn't have worn my Maui Jim's on the frozen roof in the dark, but wanted my guy feelins confidential after the Lions game.

05:07 PM #
Wouldn't have gone on the roof in the first place if it wern't for those dirty Dallas refs, Jerry Old Sack and the Christie Christie fatso.

05:11 PM #
Dropped my last cig, went to grab it and dropped my Beam. That's when I fell off the roof. Understandable?

05:17 PM #
My guy face is all scraped up. And hurts to breathe. Looks kinda badass with my wrist brace though. Like Rambo at the end of a Rambo flick.

05:19 PM #
Good thing I fell in a shrub. Or might be dead. Dead on the froze ground. Ann'd be so sorry she didn't get erotic with me. Man.

05:24 PM #
Got my broke ribs all taped up. Might have to cut the side out of a tee and head out for a cold one. Could look double Bad Boy City?

05:28 PM #
If you got a 'rang, rockin' pony, and multiple injuries to your face, arms, and ribs; carnal passions are perty much guaranteed. From babes.

05:34 PM #
If there's one thing all babes crave, it's a bad boy who looks like he just got in a fist fight with a speeding dump truck, you guys.