Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Tue May 05 2015

03:54 PM #
Hustled up the cash and paid Dave the rent bread. Let me back in the pad. Gonna SO feel good to soak my bod in the tub with a cold one.

03:57 PM #
Got almost $400 from takin' empties back to Kroger. Got a LOTTA looks. Especially from babes. Any babe craves a bad boy hustler.

03:59 PM #
Sure, the 'Bring smells like a hobo's pee pants. But when you're foldin' fat paper, automotive aroma can't be the top priority.

04:08 PM #
Whether you're sellin drugs in the street like that Jayz guy, or diggin through trash for empties, fat pockets is fat pockets, you guys.

06:09 PM #
Crackin' a cold one, crankin' some Seger, and tub soakin' your filthy bod is the only way to relaxaish after gettin' your hustle on.

06:12 PM #
Whoa. Just saw it's Cinco de Mayo. Woulda been so disrespectful to forget. Pretty much the Mexican 4th of July, but diff month and number.

06:19 PM #
Turnin' up the Seger. Make it a Seger de Mayo. South of the border, Detroit style.

06:21 PM #
Happy Seger de Mayo, you guys. So special.

06:26 PM #
Stuff like tacos and secretaries and presidents have their own holidays, but not Bob Seger? Seger de Mayo could sweep the nation.

06:34 PM #
Nothin' says "new sheriff in town" like a sombrero that says BOB SEGER on it. 'Cept for ridin' in a convertible, wavin' a chainsaw.

06:42 PM #
Seger de Mayo might already be a thing? Could drink about a thousand cervezas to Meuves De La Noche, you guys. https://t.co/HOp1uFfQmI

07:06 PM #
Dave says, "We need to get a record player. No one listens to CDs anymore. It's retro." I can't put an LP in my Discman, Dave! Jeez.

07:11 PM #
Dave said, "Seger's puttin' out Night Moves again on vinyl. It was in the paper. Tons of babes musta asked for it." http://t.co/WW7HhWtLS9

07:15 PM #
If Seger's puttin' out the Night Moves vinyl again on June 16, maybe that should be Seger de Mayo? Kinda bombed, but makes sense.

07:18 PM #
Dave can be a corncob, but might have a point. If you're one on one with a babe, and things are gettin' hot 'n heavy. You get up and...

07:20 PM #
...take a leak in the john, then, on the way back, you slowly slide the new Night Moves LP outta the package, makin' carnal eye contact...

07:24 PM #
...to let her know, "It's about to get consensually erotic." Drop the needle and return to her embrace. Man. Adult style passions, you guys.

07:28 PM #
Think my record player is in Ann's basement. Gotta get it back by June 16 for the Night Moves LP reissue. Then, Babe City, USA. Pop: Karl.

07:41 PM #
Gonna make up a batch of Segeritas. It's a marg, with a Coors Silver Bullet stuck in it.

07:42 PM #
Seger de Mayo, 2015. Let's roll (me away), you guys.