Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sun May 10 2015

07:57 PM #
Wanna give a spesh Mom's Day, "wassup" to all the thick & natural single mothers out there in the USA. Respectfully consensual of course.

08:00 PM #
Wish Captain Karl's healthy guy shoulders could be there for every Mom, from coast to coast, who don't got a macho man to treat her right.

08:03 PM #
If you're a lonely babe who needs a sensitive caress, piled high with passions, you call Karl. That's a natural fact, you guys.

08:10 PM #
Dave said, "Mom's Day is when you lick it before you stick it if you got a kid." Idiot. Gotta buy her a hot meal too. It's called "romance."

08:21 PM #
Told Dave, he wouldn't know how to lick or stick it if it saved his life. Really burned him down.

08:24 PM #
Dave said, "Whatever, I'll lick your EX wife." Got so steamed. Threw an open Papa John's garlic butter at his face. So hard.

08:25 PM #
Dave in the john scrubbing his eyes. Says the Papa John's garlic butter coulda blinded him. So stupid. It's all natural food.

08:27 PM #
You don't talk about another man's ex-wife, unless it's about how healthy her chest beefers are or somethin' else complimentary.

08:30 PM #
Might swing by Ann's. Bet she's 2 merlots deep and cravin' some K-Money macho madness right now. I can sense the vibes.

08:31 PM #
Whether you're in the same room, or across town, any true carnal bad boy can sense if a babe's havin' an erotic emergency, you guys.