Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Thu May 28 2015

02:26 PM #
Really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys.

06:55 PM #
Dave said he's gonna start "juicing" to slim down for summer. Yuck. Sounds more like a problem in your backdoor area than a diet.

06:58 PM #
Asked Dave, "Tell me Slim Goodbody, what juice is gonna be on your diet? Papa John's garlic butter or Hidden Valley Ranch?"

07:04 PM #
Dave said, "All celebs do juice cleanses for health." So stupid. If I was a celebrity, I'd eat a prime steak EVERY night. Not poor juice.

07:33 PM #
"Juice cleanse" is a one way ticket to Butt Whizz City, USA. I ain't doin' a diet that makes you crap like a babe makin' #1.

07:40 PM #
No point gettin' in shape if your diet makes you spend all your time in the john with a wet doodoo situaish, you guys.