Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Thu Jul 02 2015

12:36 PM #
Really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys.

01:00 PM #
Whoa. 4th of July is on Saturday?! Gotta get prepared to rock it, freedom style. Could mean mucho dinero on the empty bottles & cans.

01:04 PM #
Cooter can't do a 4th bash this year 'cause his "mom's in the hospital and is f*ckin' dyin' or some sh*t." Sucks. Cooter's is a tradish.

01:07 PM #
Told Dave we should host the 4th bash in the parkin' lot of the pad. Could charge admission. Blow it out. Really stack some fat paper.

01:09 PM #
'Splodin' 'works. Cold ones. Booze punches. Babes in 'kini tops with healthy chest beefers. Brats. People hurlin' from bongin' whisky. Man.

01:14 PM #
Gonna turn our apartment parkin' lot into a 4th celebraish so bonkers that even if the cops show up they'll be like, "Whoa. No thanks."

01:29 PM #
Workin' on an advert to get the word out about "Captain Karl's (feat. Dave) 4th of July Bonkers Bash With The Heat of A Thousand Suns."

02:26 PM #
Put my 4th of July Bash ad on Craigslist. Gonna be SO badass. $$$ http://t.co/Bxgyyrqg09