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DadBoner - Sat Sep 05 2015

09:38 PM #
Was feelin' down 'bout a week ago. Crazy Cooter gave me some "Feelin' Good" pills. Said 5-6 was recommended. Woke up in Florida.

09:39 PM #
Don't know how I got to Florida. Crazy Cooter didn't either, but I guess he drove. Kinda concerning.

09:44 PM #
Cooter said he was gonna crash at his cousin Greg's who lived "somewhere in Florida." Ended up sleepin' in his car for several days. Ungood.

09:49 PM #
Ended up takin' a bus home. Had to hold in my BMs. Bubble guts were unbearable. Thought about crappin' in a 2-liter, but I got self respect.

09:50 PM #
Never try to crap in a 2-liter on a bus unless you wanna wake up the next day and be a different man than you once were, you guys.

09:54 PM #
Gonna curl up in the tub with a few warm Schlitz and pray my backed up stool finds its way to freedom throughout the night.