Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sun Oct 11 2015

08:54 PM #
Can't sleep. Ain't enough booze on the planet to cause slumber when the Lions are 0-5.

08:55 PM #
Wish Chase Utley would slide into Matt Stafford, you guys.

08:59 PM #
What's next for the Lions? Some cop shoots Calvin Johnson on the field 'cause he thinks the football is a gun? Sick of this.

09:00 PM #
Got pretty heated with Dave. He said the Lions "stink." Dave doesn't even own a Lions tee! Idiot. Can't be a true fan without merch

09:03 PM #
Took Dave's lamp (the one that works) and smashed it against the grill. Now it don't work no more. Told him, "No light for you, asscannon."

09:04 PM #
"Asscannon" is such a money burn I just made up. When I called Dave that. Then smashed his personal property to the depths of hell.

09:07 PM #
The Lions can eat my raw man backdoor. I'm a true fan with a cap and everything, so I can say that.

09:09 PM #
But, if you diss the Lions without a pass, like an officially licensed cap or tee? I'll go bonkers, street justice style, all up in ya.

09:12 PM #
Dave said I "owe him money for the holes I punched in the drywall AND his lamp." Corncob. So sorry I have a passion for sports, asscannon.

09:17 PM #
Just want the Lions to be good once. But they're not. Not never gonna be good. They let a whole state down over and over and over and over.

09:20 PM #
My name is Karl Welzein. I'm from Grand Blanc, MI. And I hate the Detroit Lions. I still love 'em. But I hate the Detroit Lions, you guys.

09:21 PM #
Hate is the purest form of love, you guys.

09:25 PM #
Gonna lay on the floor and drink it all 'til there ain't no more left.