Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Nov 21 2015

01:47 PM #
THE Michigan State University, you guys.

02:52 PM #
A thousand beers sounds like a single serving right now. Man.

02:55 PM #
Wish I could just hook my peener to the toilet and funnel cold ones from my mouth direct to the sewer. There should be an app for that.

02:58 PM #
I don't got a "smart phone." But I'm fulla great brain thinks. Like "#PizzaOnTheToilet4U."

03:03 PM #
If you could get a 'za delivered to the john while you grunt out a stinky, you'd feel like the king of some country who has lots of oil.

03:05 PM #
Gonna get so bombed I make wet tears about somethin' I don't even care about no more, you guys.