Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Wed Dec 23 2015

03:51 PM #
Finally saw Star Wars today. Real bummed about Han Solo not havin' a hoop 'rang like he does in real life. Musta taken it out with CGI.

03:53 PM #
Thought I saw Ann & my son Chad at the theater. Was loose and conversational from several cocktails so I tried to make a connection.

03:57 PM #
Climbed over a few rows. Waited for a lull in the Star Wars action then leaned over their seats for a special surprise right in their face.

03:59 PM #
Chad yelled, "who's this buttwipe?!" Said, "I'm not toilet paper. I'm your father, Karl."

04:03 PM #
When your son just thinks you're a random piece of doo doo paper, let me tell ya, it hurts. Went in the john and finished my adult beverage.

04:05 PM #
Sure, I'm not a big part of my family's life. But if I happen to run into 'em, I should at least get some respect for bein' so chill.