Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Mon Jun 13 2016

05:53 PM #
Feel bad for whoever is sittin' next to Draymond Green on the couch at home. Must be just gettin' their nuts completely destroyed. Ha!

06:10 PM #
Dave said he could take a crank in the junk from Draymond. Idiot. Told him, "No way. Your sack would erupt. Dray Money is all man."

06:15 PM #
Dave challenged me to a "Sack Off" crotch crush competish at the half. Says "my man eggs are rock hard." Kinda concerning? Still, it's on.

07:09 PM #
The Sack Off Crotch Crush Competish went awry. Flipped a coin. Crushed Dave first. Has his peener & veggies in the sink under cold water.

07:11 PM #
Dave said foreign objects were allowed. Crushed his crotch with a coffee cup. Won't stop moaning. Tryin' to hear the game here!

07:13 PM #
When it comes to crushin' crotches, whether violently guy to guy, or erotically with a babe, I'm pretty much the man, you guys.

07:33 PM #
If Bon Jovi broke into my pad singin' a crap song to my babe I'd choke him out with a belt and smash his face in, bad boy style.