Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sun Oct 09 2016

12:16 PM #
DAVE JUST STABBED ME IN THE BUTTCHEEK WITH A REAL FORK! This is very unbueno!

12:19 PM #
Dave said "we're even." I stabbed his neck with a PLASTIC spork from KFC. Not an at home fork in the b-cheek. We're NOT even. Go Lions.

12:23 PM #
Can't pull fork out of my butt. Hurts so bad. Wanna beat Dave with a garden hose to death! AAAAAHHHH!!! SO STEAMED.

06:10 PM #
Must be tough for Donny T to not grab Bill Clinton's wife in the crotch. Probs thinkin' how he could get away with it. All sweaty and horno.

06:12 PM #
Hurts to sit since Dave forked me in the butt. Gonna play it chill on a solo cheek 'til I figure how to destroy him by "accident."

06:22 PM #
Dave said he "wouldn't make it" with Bill Clinton's wife. Liar. He'd get erotic with a dirty dish towel if it had on lipstick.

06:32 PM #
Bill Clinton's wife kinda has a carnal vibe. Powerful. Take charge. No nonsense. All biz in the streets. All biz in the sheets.