Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Fri Oct 28 2016

10:04 AM #
Happy Friday to ya, you guys.

10:08 AM #
Been a rough week. Takin' down that dirty 30 of Busch on Sunday caused me some internal issues I'd rather not discuss.

10:11 AM #
Let's just say, my BMs have been what would best be described as "excitingly violent." Real eye openers. Like a backdoor thunderstorm.

10:14 AM #
Busch should alert their consumers that 30 racks of their product are not a single serving. Like, "HEY: MAYBES DON'T DRINK THIS IN ONE DAY?"

10:16 AM #
Sure, takin' out a 30 rack of value cold ones solo is somethin' to be proud of for a lifetime, but there's a backdoor exit fee.

10:21 AM #
HEALTH TIP: You only get one butthole. Gotta be careful what explodes out of it. Don't wanna end up bein' a guy with a doo doo bag.

10:28 AM #
In the 80's during the whole "bran" craze, people's butthole were fallin' out left and right. Think it was in Time magazine.

10:29 AM #
It's a fine line between "loose stool" and "a trip to the hospital," you guys.