Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Tue Nov 08 2016

03:26 PM #
Whether you want Donny T or Hill-C, everyone's a winner when you're 14 cold ones deep, you guys.

03:39 PM #
Had to vote in a school gym that smelled like 20 thousand buttholes today. So rank. ZERO babes. Should be able to rock the vote at Chili's.

03:43 PM #
Election shows are snoozefests. Needs more explosion sound effects and fightin' robots, like NFL on FOX. Have Terry, Howie, and the gang.

03:56 PM #
Suits on election shows are bags of know nothin' crap. "Blah blah blah, here's some numbers. Blah blah blah, I'm a doofus."

03:58 PM #
Wish I could host an election show. Be screamin', throwin' air punches, poundin' cold ones, singin' Springsteen. Man. Be so money.

04:00 PM #
Dave said could be the end of the world. Idiot. Not for me. I'm gonna keep rockin' thoroughly and successfully. My freedom is unstoppable.

04:14 PM #
Whoever wins, pretty sure my day's not gonna be any different tomorrow. Can't live by "results," you guys.

04:28 PM #
Why they just keep pointin' at that TV showin' red and blue states? Put on somethin' cool like Rambo. Point at that for a while.

05:17 PM #
Time to switch from beer to somethin' hard and brown, you guys.

07:24 PM #
No matter what happens, this is still MY country, you guys.