Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Thu Dec 01 2016

11:16 AM #
Think I really nailed my job interview today. Brought a vod drink in a travel mug to look professional, yet stay lubricated.

11:27 AM #
Didn't understand what the job is or interview questions. Answered usin' power words like tremendous, classy, and unbelievable. Rocked it!

11:34 AM #
Had to take a mega whizz so I cut the interview short. Told the boss man, "I'D be in touch." Power moved a fist bump guy to guy and split.

11:37 AM #
Hope the interview guy saw me takin' a squirt in a Big Gulp cup in the car before I left. Shows I'm good with time management.

11:50 AM #
Urinating in your car is an underrated life hack that can shave important minutes off your busy day, you guys.

03:40 PM #
"ALL I WANT FOR PISSMAS, IS POO!" was kinda funny the first 30 or 40 times Dave sang it but it's getting kinda stale.