Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Mon Dec 05 2016

01:51 PM #
Showed up to work on the first day 3 hours late. Can't blame me though. My bod ain't conditioned for an early wake up. It's not healthy.

01:53 PM #
When you wake up, that's when you wake up. Other times are on a slave labor clock that human rights orgs should look into.

01:55 PM #
You want me to give it 110% at work? Then let me show up late. On time people crash halfway though the day. Early risers are lazy.

01:59 PM #
"I got up early! I'm productive!" ...said the loser who don't know how to rock out with their peen out 'til the bricka bricka dawn.

02:03 PM #
Bossman at new job said, "Try to be on time tomorrow." Basically means "show up whenever." Gave him a wink. Showed him I knew the score.

02:07 PM #
Don't even know what my new job is. Basically got hired by sayin', "My biggest flaws are that I like crap to be too classy and tremendous."

02:09 PM #
Guess I work for a furnace and air condish place? Not positive. Looks like a show up, take a crap nap in the john, and get paid situaish.

02:10 PM #
The best jobs is where you don't do any work, you guys.