Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Dec 31 2016

11:54 AM #
Mega pumped for the NYE celebraish. Poundin' sauce from 12-12 for 12 hrs of prime power up. It's my spesh recipe for proper NYE ripeness.

11:58 AM #
Dave's been practicin' his NYE smooch in the mirror. Idiot. Only thing his chub mug's gonna be smoochin' at midnight is a toilet bowl.

12:23 PM #
Secret to an erotic NYE smooch is to get bombed, scan the room with a carnal stare, do The Peener during the countdown, and wait.