Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Mon Jan 02 2017

12:43 AM #
Woke up bleedin' from the noggin. Karl is not buno. Or bueno? Bueno or buno? Crap should lay or lie down.

12:50 AM #
Don't remember nothin' since NYEve. Kinda concerning?

03:01 PM #
Guess was supposed to go into work today and several times last week. Boss is steamed. Not MY fault. Been ignoring my phone so hard.

03:10 PM #
Wait 'til boss sees my huge head wound. He'll be like, "You musta rocked vacay so successfully and I understand why you missed work."

03:15 PM #
CAPTAIN KARL WORK TIP: No boss questions an unexcused absence if you had "explosive diarrhea" or show up with a large head wound, you guys.