Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Jul 15 2017

01:30 PM #
Neighbor caught me outside bringin' in a dirty 30. STILL whinin' about his car bumper I ALLEGEDLY melted with my couch fire. Was a week ago!

01:39 PM #
Told neighbor, I gotta dirty 30 here that needs to get in the fridge pronto, so your problems aren't really a priority for me right now.

01:42 PM #
If you're wastin' my time yappin' and lettin' my brewskis get warm, somebody important better be dead, you guys.