12:02 PM #
Here at Future Spa, we're committed to supplying our residents with a temperate climate under a softly glowing yellowish Ganball Orb.
12:03 PM #
So when we heard that Chase Burkhardt received an uneven tan while lounging near the Local Ocean Pool, we were the opposite of happy (sad).
12:04 PM #
We immediately dispatched a climatologist, an astroblastologist, and a lighting technician to scope out the situation.
12:05 PM #
Their findings were astounding, and will forever change how Future Spa situates their statues, furniture, and other movable lawn objects.
12:07 PM #
Turns out the beam from Ganny Orb was reflecting off the sheet metal Jimmy Slade statue (all the statues here are of Baywatch characters).
12:08 PM #
The reflection - in technical terms: the "refraction" - resulted in a most untemperate zone of solarish energy.
12:10 PM #
Chase was unfortunate enough to be napping on a deck chair nearby.
12:12 PM #
Meanwhile, on the other side of him, a stack of pool towels had reached an epic height, and its shadow loomed most darkly.
12:13 PM #
Chase awoke in horror to find his right bicep glowing red, while his left thigh was about half a shade less tan it should have been.
12:14 PM #
We whisked him off to the emergency restoration tanning chamber, where he's since been ever since, hydrating and flipping over every 10 mins
12:17 PM #
The Jimmy Slade status has since been covered in wax paper. The towel stack ended up falling over on its own.