Twitter Fiction Reader

Futurespa - Wed Nov 28 2012

01:39 PM #
Last weekend Future Spa was towel-whipped in the face by a lip balm-wielding culprit with a penchant for boiling jacuzzis. #twitterfiction

01:39 PM #
Since Day 1, we've prided ourselves on our assurance that "The Spiral-Jet Jacuzzi in Sparkle Meadows will always be a toasty 104 degrees."

01:40 PM #
"No more, no less. 104 degrees. That temp is the best. So comforting, am I right?"

01:40 PM #
Unquote.

01:40 PM #
So when Trace Cheltenhank dipped a toe into the Spiral-Jet on Sunday, and his matte-red toenail polish melted off, we knew the temp was off.

01:41 PM #
We immediately dispatched our poolman, Hula Hand Harry, with a back-up thermometer, plus a tasty ice tea for poor Trace.

01:41 PM #
"Indeed," Hula Hand Harry was heard through the Bose Triple-Woof Xeno speakers at ComStat, "It's at 106, guys."

01:41 PM #
But when Harry attempted to press the down-key on the jacuzzi temperature regulator, he found he couldn't!

01:42 PM #
Mostly because someone had kicked him from behind and he'd fallen into the jacuzzi (in his jumpsuit and slippers).

01:42 PM #
The anonymous punter, wearing an avocado cream mask to conceal, and moisturize, her face, then smeared lip balm all over the temp controls.

01:43 PM #
Long story short, Harry slipped out of his jumpsuit, smacked the lip balm out of Roxi Amulet's (!) hand, then dabbed at the balm with a sham

01:44 PM #
With a couple pushes of the button, Harry got the temp back down to 104. A collective sigh was heard through the Future Spa intercom.

01:44 PM #
Roxi was instructed to visit the Snowflake-Jet Jacuzzi, which is always set to 106. The jets aren't spirals - but, the temp is right for her

01:45 PM #
Not sure why she insisted on using the Spiral-Jet. And we didn't ask. We didn't want to encourage the situation by openly discussing things.

01:45 PM #
Anyway, from now on, we're adding locks to the temperature gauges in the jacuzzis.