Twitter Fiction Reader

Heckler4Truth - Tue Sep 06 2011

11:48 AM #
The only person I've ever met who's more awkward than myself is Benjamin, the young guy who makes my fake IDs.

11:49 AM #
I worry about Benjamin. ZERO social skills. Compared to him I'm the Great Gatsby.

11:53 AM #
He's started to dress like a tough young anarchist -- lots of torn denim, leather, prole clothing in general...

11:54 AM #
...all magic-markered with lots of "A"s inside circles.

11:56 AM #
Benjamin also publishes a magazine -- excuse me, "'zine," as he calls it -- sneaking into the shop he works at night to put it together.

11:57 AM #
There's a website version too, but he says everyone has a website now, signal to noise and all that, it's time to get back to basics.

11:57 AM #
That might be where we connect.

11:58 AM #
Where we don't: he thinks the web's gonna be unplugged by the Powers That Be at any moment, so don't rely on it. My motivation is different.

11:59 AM #
His 'zine has radical essays, angry reviews, obscene comics with frequent genitalia depicted, and lots of curses. Like, every other word.

12:00 PM #
But in truth he's a very shy, sensitive kid.

12:22 PM #
And to my amazement, Benjamin kind of hero-worships me. Bizarre. He wants to be my "apprentice," whatever that would entail.

12:24 PM #
I tell him I don't have an official apprentice program. That whether I like it or not I was just born to do this, and he probably wasn't.

12:25 PM #
But I said he could come along with me sometimes if he keeps his distance while he observes, and gives me a holler if I'm about to be conked

12:25 PM #
on the head or something.

12:26 PM #
Benjamin got SO excited by this proposition, he was almost crying with happiness.

12:27 PM #
Poor kid, wants to be a rabble rouser but he's just too polite. He should be writing nature poems or something.

10:08 PM #
Visit from good ol' Blinky tonight. "Hey man [blink blink] why're you, y'know [blinksquint blink] always [squintblink] makin' weird sounds?"

10:16 PM #
"I am training," say I. Blinky looks at me as if I've spoken Klingon, for approx. 147 minutes (emotional time).

10:18 PM #
His blinksquinting is so relentless that at some point it occurs to me: he's sending me some sort of code. Like semaphore.

10:31 PM #
But I don't elaborate. Again I remind him of Civilization and its many trade-offs, quid pro quos, genteel agreements, and the like:

10:36 PM #
"We'll discuss the noise of my training when you turn the volume down on that Animals Ripping Each Others' Faces Off (or whatever) program."

10:38 PM #
Then I shut the door on him, with what I firmly believe was a convincing smile.

10:39 PM #
HUGE day tomorrow, I don't have time to eff around.