Twitter Fiction Reader

Heckler4Truth - Sun Sep 11 2011

09:29 AM #
Mr. Angry got more bent out of shape with each gyration I did. I matched his rage with extreme silliness, and it teased out his real self.

09:30 AM #
His eyes showed too much white (which NEVER looks good); his lips disappeared entirely.

09:32 AM #
He was metamorphosing into an old Warner Bros. cartoon in front of us: I expected hot blasts of steam to start shooting out of his ears.

09:33 AM #
He simply could not accept that this DANCING IDIOT* in front of him had pulled focus and made it impossible to recapture it. (*me)

09:34 AM #
A few fellow idiots stepped up and joined the hootenanny, started dancing. One guy even called me "Snake Hips," a moniker I never

09:34 AM #
imagined I'd hear applied to myself.

09:36 AM #
I continued my Dadaist fake-reggae b.s.:

09:36 AM #
"MAY-O-NAISSE IN DE CHICKEN LICKIN' PLUMBER MAN'S PANTS HE JUST SWALLOW A BIG BOULDER, THERE NO WAY HE CAN DANCE!"

09:37 AM #
(...yeah, I know. But at least it sort of rhymed.)

09:37 AM #
Mr. Angry decided to take his ball and go home.

09:38 AM #
The crowd applauded. Applauded ME.

09:46 AM #
The only sour note was one man who demanded to know what the hell I had against plumbers; that he was a plumber and damned proud of it.

09:47 AM #
I apologized and said it wasn't meant literally and he said what the hell is THAT supposed to mean?... so I excused myself politely, and

09:47 AM #
without even finding Benjamin, hightailed it out of there.

09:49 AM #
I shouldn't be hanging around accepting plaudits anyway. Unseemly. Melt back into the crowd...