Twitter Fiction Reader

Heckler4Truth - Thu Sep 29 2011

05:35 PM #
That did him in.

05:38 PM #
"OK, get this [even more amazing string of horrible cursewords] MORON the hell out of here! Or I'm not gonna sign any more books!"

05:38 PM #
No one from the bookstore moved. They were all shell-shocked.

05:39 PM #
"I MEAN IT, PEOPLE!"

05:39 PM #
Then a bunch of doughy store employees in maroon polo shirts started my way.

05:40 PM #
"No problem!" I smiled. "I'm gone."

05:41 PM #
But as I backed away, hands in the air (as per don't-hit-me custom) I couldn't resist one more potshot at famous and now furious comedian.

05:42 PM #
I smiled big, really at the limits of my face's plasticity now, like I was having the time of my life. Then I applauded in appreciation:

05:43 PM #
"Ladies and gentlemen, America's beloved funnyman, MR. Larry Morgan!"

05:44 PM #
And I got some laughs for my troubles. People were laughing AT Larry Morgan, not WITH Larry Morgan, and that was the best outcome possible.

05:44 PM #
He had been de-fanged. I was VERY proud.

05:48 PM #
I looked towards Gwynne, smiled humbly, and held out my hand for her... like the deputy who just won the gunfight, beckoning the sweet young

05:48 PM #
widow who loves him.

05:49 PM #
But she was blanched; horrified.

05:50 PM #
She was looking at me, but seeing a three-headed demon.

05:54 PM #
She turned and ran, pushing through the crowd as the bookstore maroon-shirts grabbed and pulled me in the other direction.

05:55 PM #
I wiggled away from them and bolted, but Gwynne had disappeared.

05:56 PM #
That was disturbing, to say the least. But then a bizarre flavor was added when I noticed that the same guy with the camera -- from way

05:57 PM #
back when I tangled with the Revs. Casual-Neat and Angry? -- was suddenly there, and FOLLOWING me.

05:59 PM #
All I could think was: holy crap, Benjamin is right! His paranoia = 100% justified. The Trilateral Commission IS on to me!

05:59 PM #
I ran twelve blocks at top speed, risking THE SUIT in unspeakable ways, and eventually shook him.

05:59 PM #
But Gwynne.

06:00 PM #
The look on her face!

06:00 PM #
Awful, awful.

06:00 PM #
Triumph to tragedy in a manner of seconds.